My dad's passing May 30, 1933-Feb 10, 2010

I will start from the beginning. Saturday, Feb.6th, I came down with the flu and was down Sunday as well. I kept thinking that I wanted to call my parents, but didn't end up making time to do it. Tuesday Feb 9th, sometime after 9pm, my sister Jennifer called me to tell me that my dad was in the hospital with what they thought was an aneurysm in his brain. He was sitting down at dinner and told my mom that he didn't feel so good. Then later he said that he couldn't see his water bottle out of his left eye. My mom had to leave on a short errand and by the time she returned, my dad was completely blind. Two neighbors came over to give him a blessing and then my mom took him to the hospital. He was still coherent and could answer his name. The nurse asked him what happened and he said that he was picking oranges and fell. My mom didn't know that because he didn't tell her. He was then transported to a different hospital and by then he was totally incoherent. The cat scan showed that he had a ruptured blood vessel in the back of his head and his brain was hemorrhaging. He was also paralyzed on the left side of his body. The neurosurgeon said that he could operate, but it was more likely that he would die on the table. If he didn't, then he would have to be in a rest home and have to receive constant care. There was no future for him or any quality of life. The next morning Wed, Feb 10th my mom and sister went to the hospital and had my dad taken off the life support. His heart stayed beating and he was breathing well. My mom and sister stayed with him throughout the day.

We, here, had taken Beau to a urologist that morning. (I wish now that I had rescheduled.) Beau is having an issue with his you-know-what and is now scheduled for a circumcision next Wednesday. After we came home from that appointment, we packed up. Amanda, Matt's sister, came over and did my dishes. Candy came and did some overall making sense of the disorder in my house. My RS president Connie came over and worked on my laundry. We finally left at 4:30pm to head home. At 11pm, 45 minutes away from getting to the hospital, I received a text from my sister saying that my dad had passed. I missed it. I missed getting to hold my father's hand while his spirit was still inside of him. We arrived at my mom's house at 11:45pm. We pulled up just after she did. She didn't have to come home to an empty house. My brother Aaron showed up a couple of minutes after that. After we put the kids to bed, we stayed up and talked until 1:30am. She told us the story over again from her point of view. She was amazingly stable. Once we went to bed I had a hard time sleeping. I finally got up and took some homeopathic sleeping/relaxing pills. That did the trick. The next morning the doorbell rang at 6:30am. I got up and answered it. It was a lady from the church bringing in dinner before she went to work. Then at 7am, the lady from the mortuary came over to talk to us. She was with us for 2 hours explaining everything that needed to happen. We were trying to have the funeral on Saturday and there was no way we could even have his body ready by then. So we planned it for Tuesday. Then Matt and I made breakfast. Matt tended to the kids mostly and I made many phone calls and answered the phone for my mom. It was nice to feel like I could do something to help. I pretty much did stuff to help throughout the next couple of days. On Thursday afternoon, we siblings and my mom went to the mortuary to make all the arrangements. It took two hours. My mom's jaw dropped at the total bill, but I was actually expecting it to be more, so she was quite reasonably priced. We did leave for about 3 hours on Friday to Jeanette's house. The kids went to the park and then went swimming and jacuzzi-ing. By Monday, all the family arrived: my dad's siblings, Vayanna, and Frankie and her husband, Ted and Carolyn, David and Karen, Aunt Vay's daughters Maryann, Chris,and Susan, Then all my siblings except for Kairlee, but her husband came and all her kids. My sister is bedridden and can't leave the house but for a couple of hours to church. There were also some cousins there: Kathy and Ruth, and Ron and Lisa, and Jeneal and Danny.

In the afternoon, before the viewing, my mom, siblings, and I went to the mortuary and dressed my dad. I went in after he had his garments on and dress shirt. It was the first time that I saw him since his passing. All I could say was that he looked like he was sleeping. His body was cold but I still just wanted to touch his arm and rest my hand on it and not let go. I got to help put on his temple robes and tie the bow. It was a very special time with him and my family.

At the viewing, I wasn't sure where I should be, but I easily figured it out there. I visited with the people in line as they waited to get to see my dad and visit with my mom. There was a constant line for about an hour and a half. We actually stayed an extra hour than planned. I saw so many people that I knew growing up. We were raised in this ward. My parents have lived in their house for 40 years.

The next day Tuesday was another 1 hour viewing and the funeral. I was late to the viewing because my niece Cassie came over and colored and cut my hair. I was still there in time for the family prayer. Just before the prayer I went up to my dad and said goodbye.

By this time Elody was ready to eat and nap. I was nursing her in the back during the words from the bishop and the prayer from Uncle Ted. Then my mom asked us kids to come up for the closing of the casket. I just had to pry her off and hand her to the closest cousin who was Chris. She took her outside and got her to go to sleep. I watched closely as my brothers closed the casket. Then we headed to the funeral.

My aunt Vay spoke first on his early years. Then all of my parents grandchildren stood up and sang, I am a Child of God. I lost it. Nothing moves me more emotionally than music. It was so sweet to see my parents posterity get up and testify of our eternal family. Then my sister spoke on our family life. Then I and some other in the family got up and sang a beautiful arrangement of Each life that touches ours for good. My Aunt Karen played her violin. Then My brother DeLane gave the eulogy. He talked about the spiritual life lessons that my dad taught. After that my sister Jen's son Parker sang, Going Home. Then of course the bishop spoke for a few minutes. It was a lovely service. I am sure my dad enjoyed it. We then headed to the grave side service. It was very simple. Jen's son Sam played Danny Boy on his baritone saxophone and then my brother Aaron dedicated the grave. We took a couple of pictures and that was it. We said goodbye to my dad.

The luncheon was nice and then we headed back to my mom's house. We packed up as quickly as we could and left at 4:10pm. I stared out the window a lot, thinking. I wondered why he needed to be transfer to the spirit world so soon. Then the thought came to me that they needed him to be a teacher. My dad was a master teacher. He taught the gospel for 50 years, at least. In his recent years, his memory started to fail him and he could no longer teach. So now he is teaching all those people who died in Haiti and anywhere else in the world. On a lighter note, my children enjoyed their cousins so much. My three girl were almost inseparable with Marni's three girls that are close to their ages. I enjoy and loved spending 6 days with my mom, brother, sisters, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I was sad to leave such a wonderful spirit of family togetherness.

The tragedy doesn't end there. Wednesday morning, my cousins, Ron and Lisa (in their 50s) and Jeneal and Danny, headed home. About an hour and a half after they left, they got a flat tire. They pulled off the side of the road and Ron proceeded to change the tire. He was standing on the right side of the trunk when another car, driven by a 30 year old Hispanic,fell asleep at the wheel, swerved off the road, and hit him. Ron was thrown up into the air and landed on the ground like a rag doll. He was killed instantly. The other car went right between Danny's car and Danny. Lisa and Jeneal were by the front of the car. Neither Danny's car nor him nor the ladies were hurt, just Ron. What a shocking tragedy. They have 4 children who are all grown, but still....so sad.